Navigating and embracing change is a superpower
**Leonor Ayala Polley is a leader in the news industry, making sure the stories told and hiring reflect the communities they serve, with over 19 years of experience at brands like ABC News and NBC News. Leonor is currently the Chief of Business Development and Partnerships at URL Media.**
In the late Summer of 2019, my husband was offered a new career opportunity that would move our family to San Francisco. And while he was ready to say no, I asked him to stop and seriously consider it. As I recall, my question was, “Are we really going to live and die in New York City? As great as the city can be, it kicks my ass daily, and it is even harder with kids.” Typically, it takes him a beat or two longer to think about change and adapt. I jump in head first. So after some thinking and talking, we decided it was actually the perfect time to try a new city. Our kids were still young enough. And San Francisco was definitely on our list of cities to which we’d be willing to relocate. Our close NYC friends who knew about the impending move were stunned. We got both of our kids into two of the best schools in NYC – a fantastic feat by some standards. But yes, we were willing to part ways with all of that for the sake of starting anew.
We started quietly making plans. We researched and vetted schools for our children. And I started tapping professional networks because I might take a new job. After all, I was coming up on 18 years at NBC News and was craving a change anyway – and I like BIG change! I also reasoned that there was no way NBC News – a very NYC-centric shop- would allow me to work from SF.
But when the pandemic lockdown hit in the Spring of 2020 – a mere month before I was going to travel to San Francisco to find a place for our family to live and settle all the plans we were making were suddenly in flux. And so, just like that, all of us were forced to readjust our plans, expectations, and routines.
At first, we were at sea. Would the move still happen? Would I stay with NBC? After all, everyone was now working remotely. But more importantly, would we continue to ride it out in New York City or move on with a new semblance of the plan to move to San Francisco?
Leonor and her family at their farewell celebration in New Jersey
After feeling completely paralyzed by all of the pandemic's unknowns, we forged ahead. I launched a new plan and a new way of executing it; it was an escape from reality for me. My husband, who was just moving through the day-to-day, says now that he was thoroughly impressed by my resolve to figure it out.
I found and booked us a recreational vehicle (RV) to drive across the country (it was a one-way trip, so it was hard to find one!). I found a moving company to pack and move our belongings across the country. I found an apartment in San Francisco virtually and decided on it because it was near the kids' new school.
And finally, in mid-June 2020, after enduring those first grueling months in the pandemic's epicenter, we packed up our cozy NYC apartment, said goodbye to our family and a handful of friends, and hit the road. There were tears of great sadness as we drove through NYC. We drove through long stretches of desolate city blocks and boarded-up storefronts. We drove past 30 Rock, and big barricades cordoned it off. We’d seen the city through a lot of ups and downs. And when we resolved to leave, this wasn’t how we imagined leaving our city, family, or friends. There were so many goodbyes we missed.
Leonor's sons at Crissy Field, shortly after arriving in San Francisco
And once we finally did arrive in San Francisco, we were completely isolated and alone for the first few months. We didn’t know anyone and no one was racing to meet new people, especially perhaps not recent arrivals from New York City. And I honestly can’t remember feeling more lonely and afraid. I kept a brave face for the kids but sank deeply into my work. I was part of the leadership team charged with diversity, equity, and inclusion at NBC News, and our team was now front and center after the murder of George Floyd. I was always involved in deep and meaningful work, but now our small team was in the spotlight. We ramped up our work, and despite my cross-country move, I kept working.
I lost myself in the work. I loved my work, but it began to consume me in unhealthy ways. In my personal life, our San Francisco neighbors turned out to be the most toxic and vulgar people imaginable (so we moved again a few months later.) Wildfires raged across the West that summer, causing orange skies and ash to blanket the city – the toxic air further forced us into isolation. And then my mother had a stroke. It was all starting to feel like an impossible canyon of change. In those early months, there were so many times I thought about moving back to New York City.
Leonor and her colleagues at URL Media
But here we are –three years later. I finally quit NBC in the Summer of 2021. I started working for a startup called URL Media founded by my childhood friend, S. Mitra Kalita. And my husband and I have finally started to find our tribe and have a few grown-up friends, which is really hard when you are middle-aged. Our kids are feeling settled. We even bought a house recently and are here for the foreseeable future (yes, despite all the bad news about San Francisco).
Why share all of this? Here are a few leadership lessons I have learned about embracing change and how leveraging personal change can set you up for success in your professional life.
Change is hard, give yourself space to adapt: As much as you may think you are great at navigating change, it’s hard at any age and even harder during a pandemic lockdown. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself and those around you grace. Taking mental health breaks and pauses to reflect on why you sought a change is essential to help ground you. And if the change is thrust upon you, much like the pandemic lockdown, take it day by day and lean on your community. Reach out to friends, even if it has been months or years. Those old connections, personal or professional, know and understand different parts of you and can often help you reset and find your purpose again.
We’ve always done things this way: This phrase makes me cringe. I’ve always believed embracing and thriving in change leads to personal and professional growth.
Since moving to San Francisco, I have incrementally expanded my circle of friends and experiences in my personal and professional life, but not without putting in the work. I learned that on the West Coast, when people say, “Let’s get together for coffee,” they may not mean it, so I have adapted to that.
Expanding my friend circle has also allowed me to think more expansively – from politics to the environment to my career. I have been challenged to rethink old ways and embrace new ways of doing just about anything. It is crucial not to get stuck in old habits. The world moves forward and evolves. Why shouldn’t you?
Industries are being disrupted at an incredible pace – it feels like the blink of an eye. Your ability to smoothly adapt and be flexible and agile will serve you professionally. It gives you the ability to analyze, strategize and problem-solve under pressure, all critical leadership qualities.
Finding joy & gratitude in the journey: As a shameless workaholic, who sometimes admittedly works harder, not smarter, I have finally ‘picked up my head’ to rediscover a whole new world of ‘firsts’ and it is exhilarating.
Many firsts: We are programmed to think of firsts in really narrow terms. Your first word. Losing your first tooth. Your first date. Your first car. But moving to a new city brings me the joy of many new firsts. Attending my first SF symphony or opera performance. My first time in a new neighborhood or park. My first time at a new trendy restaurant or pub. My first meeting with a new client or company. You name it. I am reveling in all the firsts and having fun. My biggest takeaway about change is to find joy along the way even when it feels hard. Reframing the journey can make it more pleasant.
Let curiosity take hold: I am trying to get out and take more walks for pleasure to discover new places and learn more about the Bay Area. My walks in NYC always had a destination. Now, I am taking more walks without a particular destination. My curiosity hikes lead me to some of my best ideas or new thinking methods that help me tremendously at work.
Say no more often: I am learning to say no to work, especially extra work, that doesn’t serve me, my family, or my goals. First, I learned I don’t have to say yes to everything. Second, I created a decision rubric to help me determine which opportunities fulfilled my goals - more quality time with my kids and meaningful work with good people. This is still a work in progress, but it is already freeing me up in so many ways.
Change takes time: change is incremental. Don’t rush it. As a New Yorker, I find this last one incredibly hard. I still want things to happen yesterday, but I am also accepting that sometimes the best change happens over time. This is probably the biggest key to embracing change and those around you – not everyone is on your timeline, which is okay. You need to figure out who is coming along and who is opting out and move on from there.
There is a deep complexity and irony in loving change, as a change in career or moving to a new city doesn’t mean you navigate change well. It is a lesson I learned over the last three years, and in the process learned a lot about myself, how I want to think about work and life, and how to find time and meaning in the people and things I love most. So, finding your inner calm, whatever that means to you, and a frequent path back to the calm among the chaos will ultimately make you a better leader.